Thursday, April 28, 2011 at 1:08AM
Studio: Think With Portals
Review Rating: 8 out of 10
First off, just let me say that for the most part, I don’t game. Those controllers make my hands hurt, and even for the most involved storyline and astounding graphics, there are always moves I simply can’t do, and get frustrated enough to toss said controller. I usually watch the husband play games. That’s why it’s Lame Gamer. On with the show!
Portal 2 happens to be a video game that takes puzzles to heights of 3, almost 4-dimension, sheer insanity. Don’t let the simple look fool you either, there is a hell of a plot, that practically shouts pay attention to me from the background. How do they do it?
You, the gamer, are a subject in Aperture Labs, and the subject is subject to test after test where they have to solve puzzles from every angle, while being harangued by a flat robot voice that generally insults you. That is the premise from the first Portal, as far as I can recall, and this game starts off there too. Except there’s been some minor meltdown, something happened and your disembodied robot voices aren’t telling, and you the gamer have apparently been asleep a very long time. Long enough for the labs to be overgrown with plantlife at least. And that somewhat female robot voice that is still around and still haranguing you, has apparently gone insane. Plus your round bodied robot pal, whose name I never caught and apparently now has a British voice, he goes a little bonkers too, after somehow downloading the crazy Fembot, lets call her C for those of you paying attention, into a potato. Yes, a potato. You’ve got me what it means, but then that whole “the cake is a lie” thing I didn’t get either.
This incarnation, the husband says, is much better, and a lot stronger, the gamer crew who made the game fixed a lot of the potential cheats and many of the dimensional issues. The puzzles are harder, more involved, and have more depth, no pun intended. For my part, I immensely enjoyed hearing the jabs C tossed out this time, everything from labeling the gamer as a Monster, to complimenting the Subject on gaining weight. And the British voice gets a lot of fine pokes in there too, when it’s his turn to rant. To me, the puzzles look impossible, but I’ve seen the husband sail through them, so judge for yourself. It is a thinking persons’ game, for all that there is a very involved plot too. Strategy, I would say, would be the required skill for this game. Strategy, patience, and admittedly a rather dark sense of humor. The Lame Gamer gives Portal 2 a solid 8 out of 10, for entertaining someone who isn’t even playing the game!